outside her comfort is her zone

One year ago today

One year ago today, I got married to the sweetest, most patient and thoughtful man I’ve ever met (not counting my dad and Poppie). It was the happiest day of my life. I could say the cliche “feels like it was just yesterday,” and in some ways this year has flown by. This year has brought many happy times, but was not exactly how I imagined my first year of marriage to go. But this post isn’t about me.

Both Tyler and Josie were my maids of honor, of course. Tyler was not into the “whole wedding thing” at all. And because she lived on the other side of the country, she wasn’t able to help a whole lot with the detailed, never-ending planning process. She did, however, plan an unforgettable bachelorette weekend for me at Nags Head, that was hands-down one of the best weekends of my life, and I think she’d say the same. So when my wedding approached, all I asked from her was two things: get your dress hemmed (and don’t forget to bring it), and please don’t injure yourself before the wedding. She had just torn her second ACL in April 2014, and was hobbling around our May engagement party with a massive knee brace. So when she texted me a few days before the wedding that she had scraped her face after she flipped over the handlebars of her bike, I knew she was kidding. Turns out she wasn’t kidding, but good make-up is an amazing thing. She arrived at the airport safe & sound on Thursday night, just in time for a big family dinner. She had her luggage, her dress, her shoes.. only thing missing was her boyfriend Will. They had accidentally booked him on the wrong flight and didn’t realize it until they were at the gate. Woops! Will eventually made it to Rocky Mount too.


Tyler helping me put on Buch’s wedding gift to me at the Bridesmaid’s Luncheon

Tyler and Josie ended up staying up until after 3 am Thursday night because they were so stressed about their rehearsal dinner toast for me. At one point they asked me if I would just write it for them. Obviously I didn’t, and they ended up delivering a heartfelt, hilarious speech that involved giving Buch an actual hard-hat to prepare himself for marrying stubborn me.




Watching Tyler get her hair done the morning of the wedding was hilarious. She has styled her hair the same way basically forever (except for that one time she got bangs….)- shoulder length and straight. So when she asked the hair stylists to give her an updo “but leave a few loose curls hanging down,” I couldn’t wait to see how that turned out. We (especially Tyler) laughed hysterically at the result because it looked like a Prom 2003 look.  The girls redid her hair into something more “her’.

We laughed even harder after we got dressed and started taking formal pictures. Notice anything interesting about the symmetry of their dresses in this picture? Yep, Tyler put her bridesmaids dress on backwards.

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Still backwards Ty…


Eventually she put her dress on the right way


Josie and Tyler walking down the aisle



A fun night!


Tyler had such a great time during our wedding weekend that I thought we almost had her convinced to move back. She had felt so left out the Christmas before when Buch proposed to me and she missed it. She had so much fun at my bachelorette weekend over labor day that she ended up extending her trip an extra week. So I hoped maybe, just maybe, my wedding will seal the deal. But it didn’t. Because as much as she loved being with her family and friends in NC, that was our life, not hers. That wasn’t the life she wanted, and that’s okay.

It absolutely breaks my heart that Tyler won’t be with us on one day when Josie gets married. It is even more heartbreaking that Tyler will never have her own wedding day. But I am so, so, so grateful that she was there for mine.

I am slightly disgusted with myself when I think back about all the ridiculous trivial details that my mom and I stressed over in planning our wedding. If you’re getting married soon, trust me- nobody is going to remember what color the tablecloths were (I don’t even remember what color mine were), or what was in the “hotel welcome bag”. All that matters is that your loved ones are there with you, and that’s what you’ll remember the most.


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